I received this email from my sister today:
How am I supposed to sneak in on your life to see what you're up to (like I do to Valerie) IF YOU NEVER UPDATE THE STUPID THING???? IT"S BEEN OVER A MONTH since you updated it.
How am I supposed to sneak in on your life to see what you're up to (like I do to Valerie) IF YOU NEVER UPDATE THE STUPID THING???? IT"S BEEN OVER A MONTH since you updated it.
Just thought I'd share...
Love,
Your Sister
(OK, I know. However, to my sister, do let your presence be known. So, Sister, I will write and you now need to let me know you were there--no more sneaking. Deal?)
Onward.
This past Thursday would have been my Dad's 75th birthday. Five years ago this month, my brother and I spread his ashes over the Pacific Ocean. We flew my Dad's old airplane and dropped him off of Solana Beach. I try to visit twice a year. I bring tea leaves--Dad used to love drinking tea. I guess it was a nod to his upbringing. He was born and raised in Ireland--hence my my name.
Yesterday, Valerie and I drove down to Solana Beach to visit Dad. She was kind enough to give me some alone time with him. It had been awhile since I visited last and I still miss him. What I have learned through all of this is to tell your family how you feel when you still can or you will have conversations like I have with my Dad.
Before my Dad died, I tried to tell him how I felt, however, he would not let me say anything because he was still fighting cancer and needed to keep his spirits up. He said to me, "You will never say everything that you want to say to your father. I went through the same thing with my Dad and to this day, I have things I wished I had said to him."
With this blog, I share my thoughts and by sharing, I examine and hope to understand them. Along this journey of life, it helps to examine the road and sometimes make course corrections. So until next time...
And yes, I will try to be a better blogger.
(OK, I know. However, to my sister, do let your presence be known. So, Sister, I will write and you now need to let me know you were there--no more sneaking. Deal?)
Onward.
This past Thursday would have been my Dad's 75th birthday. Five years ago this month, my brother and I spread his ashes over the Pacific Ocean. We flew my Dad's old airplane and dropped him off of Solana Beach. I try to visit twice a year. I bring tea leaves--Dad used to love drinking tea. I guess it was a nod to his upbringing. He was born and raised in Ireland--hence my my name.
Yesterday, Valerie and I drove down to Solana Beach to visit Dad. She was kind enough to give me some alone time with him. It had been awhile since I visited last and I still miss him. What I have learned through all of this is to tell your family how you feel when you still can or you will have conversations like I have with my Dad.
Before my Dad died, I tried to tell him how I felt, however, he would not let me say anything because he was still fighting cancer and needed to keep his spirits up. He said to me, "You will never say everything that you want to say to your father. I went through the same thing with my Dad and to this day, I have things I wished I had said to him."
With this blog, I share my thoughts and by sharing, I examine and hope to understand them. Along this journey of life, it helps to examine the road and sometimes make course corrections. So until next time...
And yes, I will try to be a better blogger.
4 comments:
I am glad your sister prodded you, because it's s wonderful tribute to your dad.
Even though you never got to actually say the words, he knew. He knows now.
Your father always knew. Always.
Jacquie
Yes, He DID know... He was emotionally retarded in a way, mainly the way to pattern healthy emotional expression, but inside his mind, he was an excellent communicator. He was so very proud of you... he told me, just like he told you he was proud of me. He just said the words to the wrong kid/person because he had his pride in the way. You have the opportunity to change that. Tell those you love that you do...often. Show your love and how important the imprtant people in your life are. Learn from him, if not by him patterning, but by his lack of patterning. You were/are a good son and I'm proud that you are my brother. So no deal, I may not always comment and still sneak into your life (keep bloggin'), but I'll always tell you what Dad never said... I love you, you are a good man, husband, brother, uncle and friend. Maureen
I am so glad your sister gave you that nudge. Such a wonderful tribute to your father. Men of that generation never quite learned how to say what was in their hearts but he knew what was in yours. I do believe he hears what you say to him now...I too lost my father, 6 years ago for me. I will always miss him but how fortunate we were to have such men in our lives.
Warmly,
Sue
Post a Comment